When to Switch Off

Bespoke Minds Education's Samantha Dainty looks at navigating adolescence: misogyny, media, and building resilient young people

Netflix's Adolescence is a fictional series with a strikingly real emotional core. It captures the jagged contours of life for teenagers growing up in a world

where social media mis-steps can rapidly spiral into shame, disconnection, and danger. Its release couldn't have been more timely, coinciding with the sentencing of Kyle Clifford, who murdered three women from the Hunt family - just hours after reportedly consuming misogynistic content online, including Andrew Tate videos.

If Adolescence feels uncomfortably close to reality, it's because it is; the series resonates because the dangers it portrays are already here.

I found myself seeing the series through two distinct but intertwined lenses: as an educator who works closely with teenagers every day, and as a mother of a young child who will, all too soon, become one. It was, at times, a difficult watch. Episode after episode revealed bright, thoughtful young people negotiating a world rife with casual cruelty, gendered pressures, and emotional complexity. I thought of my own daughter. I thought of the students I've supported. Is this the cultural landscape we're handing them?

A recent episode of the podcast; Should I Delete That?, titled 'Cyber brothels, AI girlfriends and misogynistic algorithms:

Laura Bates on the new age of sexism' explores this terrain in depth and is a must listen. In conversation with Emily Clarkson and Alex Light, activist Laura Bates describes today's digital landscape as one of "algorithmically facilitated mass radicalisation". One particularly disturbing statistic has stuck with me: if you set up a TikTok account under the identity of a teenage boy, it takes on average just 17 minutes for the first piece of extreme misogyny to appear. The implications are stark.

6 PRACTICAL WAYS TO SUPPORT TEENS IN A DIGITAL AGE

1. Foster open communication

Create space for regular, honest conversations about your child's digital and emotional world. Show interest and ask questions, sharing your own experiences too. When dialogue is judgement free, children are more likely to seek help if they encounter something distressing.

2. Model healthy digital boundaries

Young people absorb much from observing adult behaviours. Demonstrating healthy digital habits - such as limiting device use before bed and digital sabbaticals - is powerful. And you can help your teen curate their feeds: teach them to use mute, block and 'not interested' functions.

Stay informed and curious

Rather than fearing new trends or platforms, ask your child to explain how they work. When children are invited to be the "expert", they often open up more freely. This dynamic builds trust and allows parents to gain insight into digital culture.

Set collaborative boundaries

Work with your child to establish age-appropriate limits for screen use. Give a reason - for example, emotional regulation. As they grow, adapt boundaries accordingly. Involving them in decisions helps foster autonomy.

Respond calmly to disclosure

Contain your reaction. If your teen shares something worrying, prioritise safety and problem-solving. Young people need to know that coming to you won't lead to punishment.

Be alert to behavioural changes

Monitor for sudden shifts in mood, withdrawal, or secrecy, as these can be signs of distress. Early, empathetic intervention is key, and professional support should be sought if necessary. Adolescence will never be without challenge, but the messages they receive at home and in school about worth, resilience, and relationships will shape the adults they become. The groundwork for a safer, emotionally intelligent generation must begin now. bespokeminds.education

And yet, amid the feeling of despair, a sense of resolve took root. The storyline of Adolescence highlights the need to intervene earlier. Empathy, emotional resilience, and an understanding of respect and consent cannot be left until adolescence develops. These qualities take root in the early years: around the dinner table, on the playground, and in the quiet moments of connection between home and school. As parents, we can begin by helping our children articulate their emotions, notice injustice, and develop the confidence to speak up.

As educators, we have a duty to create learning environments where kindness, fairness, and emotional literacy are integral to the culture - not bolted on as an afterthought when difficulties arise. Waiting until a crisis occurs (at age 15 or 16) is too late. Many independent schools now embed pupil-led wellbeing committees and digital-citizenship modules from year five upward. But these conversations can't just be left to teachers. While schools play a vital role, parents remain a child's first and most consistent educators. By fostering openness at home, modelling self-compassion, and helping children reflect rather than react, we create a protective buffer against the more toxic messages of the world.

Supporting teens through adolescence doesn't require perfection - it requires presence. The column on the left shares practical, research-informed ways parents can help their children feel seen, supported, and secure.